Challenge Partially Accepted

So there seems to be a challenge making its way around the blogosphere. It has apparently made its way to the third world blogs because I have been challenged by my darling husband from the second world. (That exists in the blogosphere.)

Here are the rules.

The rules of said challenge:

  1. Acknowledge the nominating blogger.
  2. Share 11 facts about yourself.
  3. Answer the 11 questions the nominating blogger has created for you.
  4. List 11 bloggers.
  5. Post 11 questions for the bloggers you nominate to answer, and let all the bloggers know they’ve been nominated. Don’t nominate a blogger who has nominated you.

I have no problem with any of them except the nominating because John pretty much nominated most of the people I would nominate. The other blogs I read are way to first world for me to challenge. But I will do my best.

Let’s go in order, shall we? Number one is done. Check (Always have a list, right, Marc?)

Number 2 begins now….

Fact #1 Wonder Woman Underoos were the highlight of my fourth to fifth years on this planet. I would roll on my red, white, and blue skates back and forth on our porch wearing nothing but those Underoos and pulling myself along with my jump rope magic lasso. If only I could have held on to that level of body image confidence against the societal onslaught of later years.

Fact #2 I was a teenager before I realized Cookie Monster never ate a cookie. I mean I knew he didn’t “eat” them. I thought there was a hole in the puppet in which some of the cookie went. I thought that as a kid and never pondered it long enough after I stopped watching Sesame Street regularly until I was babysitting while in high school. It was a big moment.

Fact #3 The viewing of Pet Cemetery and Child’s Play at a sleepover caused me to do two things for a number of years (read until this day). First, I would jump out of bed in the middle of the night if I had to get up. Like I needed to clear at least three feet between me and the bed. (Oh! And even before Gage and his scalpel, my bed always had to be against a wall, so I could see everywhere at once.) And I will always check my entire car even under the seats if I am getting in it alone. Having kids has made this much less weird as the car seat maneuvers are a good cover.

Fact #4 I would never be without covers as a kid. And they would always be up to my chin as I thought a vampire wouldn’t waste time on just a head.

Fact #5 The house my father lived in after my parents’ divorce was not in the best of neighborhoods. My siblings and I shared a bedroom that was at the top of the stairs. You could stand in our room and look down at the front door. In other words, if a psycho killer broke in, our room was his first stop. So I had a plan. I made my sister sleep next to the wall, so if I heard the front door crash in, I could just roll her over and down the crack between the bed and the wall, effectively hiding her under the bed. My brother had a single bed just across from our bed. I figured I had enough time to roll him out of it and under the bed with me right after him.

I guess I had a lot of bed time issues…… this challenge may be leading to therapy….

Fact #6 In my postpartum  hormonal haze my internal thoughts kept referring to my daughter as Charlotte. This is, of course, not her name. I was panicked for about three days because I thought we had given her the wrong name. Then the hormones chilled out.

Yep, looking up therapists who take our insurance right….. now.

Fact #7 I wanted to play the piccolo as a kid. I mean, really, it’s the instrument equivalent of me. But they wouldn’t let you play the piccolo. You had to take flute which I did and liked. I wasn’t allowed to play the piccolo until junior year. (I mean, you’d think they had something against little, shrill instruments,except that they gave rooms fulls of fourth and fifth graders recorders.) I started the flute in fourth grade. That is the most perseverance and patience I have ever shown.

Fact #8 My first published work was “Silver: The Flying Unicorn”. I wrote it one day when I was sick, and I brought it into my first grade teacher to show her. She was so impressed that she let me sit in the library through all of reading to copy it neatly on large pieces of lined yellow paper in INK. I even illustrated it. Then she stapled the pages between two wallpaper samples, and in her best teacher writing added the title and my name in permanent ink.

Fact #9 Before sex ed. I thought that rape was a man holding down a woman and cutting off all of her hair. I have two theories about how I got this idea. 1) I was watching a soap opera with my grandmother on which a character was raped around the same time she cut her hair or 2) This was something told to me by my grandmother who had let me watch a soap opera.

Fact #10 For most of my life, I wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I took chemistry my first semester at college. By the end of the semester, I was a Comparative Literature major.

Fact #11 I really want to get my manuscript revised and edited, so I can think about getting it published/self publishing, but reading through it is making me feel like I am drowning in a sea of words. I have absolutely no idea what to rework or leave alone. Thus I am avoiding it. It is my biggest long term frustration right now. I mean it has edged out my weight.

Number 3 – Oh God, my husband has asked the most convoluted questions. He revels in them. I love him.

  1. If you could have the ability to fly or the ability to turn invisible, which would you choose? And how quickly would you visit a locker room of your preferred-to-look-at sex once you became invisible? I had to clarify with John that I can’t carry other people or heavy stuff when flying. The effort of flying is the same as walking, and I can go 55 mph. To me, that makes flying the desirable choice as a time saver. (Brace yourselves for number two.)
  2. If someone invented a TARDIS-like machine, allowing you to travel to any place/time, but there was only a 50% chance that you could return to the present time/place (there is 100% assuredness that you’ll be transported to your intended time/place, but if you could not return, you would be forced to live in your new time/place from that point forward, unless someone were to show up with another space/timey-wimey machine – but now we’re getting into the absurd), would you take a trip? If so, to where/when would you travel? There are way too many percentages for me in this question. OK, I would have to say as a responsible and loving wife and mother, that no, I would not take that trip if I could not get back to my family. Do I still have to choose a time and place? Because I seriously can’t. Like ancient Greece would be cool to see, but I wouldn’t want to be stuck there. I wouldn’t want to be stuck any when that didn’t have antibiotics, and no time after antibiotics that would be interesting would also be a war.
  3. Would you rather be famous for a life’s work, but have said work be lost to time (here, I’m thinking of something like performing the Macarena or Who Let the Dogs Out), or to complete a work that would receive little notice during your lifetime, but live on for the ages as a masterpiece? I gotta go materialistic here and say the former. If I was smart about it, I could live comfortably on the money made from one of those songs.
  4. If a kind benefactor were to show up & offer to cover your current bills and fund your education to provide you a new line of work, would you take the benefactor up on the offer? What would you study to become? This is a tough one. I like the education I have now. I would like to have an awesome library job. And I don’t relish the idea of going back to school at all. Maybe I would go back for creative writing. That might be the only thing that would entice me.
  5. If you could offer one piece of advice to your 16-year-old self, what would that be? Get your rich relatives to buy Apple AND Google stock.
  6. If you could deliver one message to your 87-year-old self, what would that be? No idea. Shouldn’t she be giving me a message? She’s got all the info.
  7. It turns out that someone managed to tap into your mind & recorded your dirtiest daydream, selling the rights to said daydream to a pornographic movie producer. That person will be filming a pornographic movie from it. Only you & the daydream recorder will be able to trace you as the content-provider of your daydream. However, you must provide a name for the writing credits – what name do you provide? Really, honey? You couldn’t just go with, “What would your porn writer’s name be?” I’d probably just use my real name. Who watches the credits of porns? Especially for the “writer”. Plus, I would do anything for a writing credit.
  8. If you won the showcase showdown on the Price Is Right, and it included an “all expenses paid” trip, to where would you prefer that trip be? I would really like to go to Ireland for all the beers views. The dream is that John and I do a bike tour. The company hands you a bike and a map and makes inn reservations along the route for you and delivers your bags.
  9. Your receive a fancy, wax-sealed, parchment envelope where your eldest child’s name and description of the location of his/her bedroom in relation to the house is written on said child’s eleventh birthday. What thoughts run through your mind?  The first spell that kid is learning is Surgify! Second, are house elves real? Also the look on CJ’s face would be priceless. Best instagram ever!
  10. If you could magically sculpt your body to match someone else’s, while retaining your face, who would you chose as your new physique? Answer in the form of a haiku. Robes of flowing white/Jedi is her only hope/No gold bikini
  11. The Earth receives word that an alien race is coming and anticipates making contact on March 1, 2021. There is no hint as to the intentions of the visit, and the visitors made it clear that they would not be able to submit another transmission prior to arrival. Does this news change the way you live your life? How so? Probably because there are nimrods who would go all commando and crap and cause headaches for the rest of us. I myself would probably be awaiting the day, but really, what prepping is going to make a difference either way? I would probably be on the optimistic side though. Invaders aren’t known for announce their invasion.

Number 4 – This is my problem area. I think to solve it, when I post this to Facebook, I am going to tag some people I know who blog and might want to potential participate. If you do the challenge, leave a link t your blog in the comments.

Number 5

1. Would you rather be a famous actor, director, or musician and why?

2. If you could go anywhere in the world and in time on an adult vacation where and when?

3. Same question for a kid vacation.

4. If you could wipe out one thing (or kind of thing) to extinction so people didn’t even know it ever existed, what would it be and why?

5. If you could have just one kind of food for the rest of your life what would you choose? (Note: It doesn’t have to be exactly the same every day. You can get it from different restaurants, use different preparations, etc)

6. What is your favorite genre of movies and why? Does it differ if it is television? How about books? (I know that is three questions, but I thought it would be cheating to make it three questions.)

7. If you could be another person who exists for just one day, who would you be and why?

8. Lemon or lime?

9. Which is your favorite Indiana Jones movie and why?

10. If challenged to give up electronic devices for a year, do you think you could do it? Would the incentive matter?

11. What is the first memory that comes to your mind when you read the word funny?

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