I could write a post full of all the amazing people I met at BlogHer. I could tell you how Megan is an amazing ball of awkward, funny and intelligent and I love her even more than I did before which was a lot. Also, we are making trolls sexy. (Not the colored hair kind. The under the bridge kind.) I could tell you that Vicki is my new favorite drunk person because how many inebriated people do you know who will start a fundraiser for AIDS based on the number of glow sticks poked into their hair? I could tell you that John and I are food super heroes who saved Brandy’s BlogHer experience. I could tell you that meeting the Librarians was a little like meeting celebrities, and that The Suniverse knows stuff, yo’. I could say that running into Diana and talking briefly of adoption warmed my heart (along with her wanting a pictures with us) and that I am so hopeful for her. I could thank Suburban Mom for the Hasbro swag that entertained my kids all day. I might talk about all the new people I met like Faith, Shanili, and Tricia and many, many more. I could talk about all that.
Instead, I am going to talk about the swag. And in a nod to my education roots, I organized it in a Venn Diagram.
(I apologize for the not great picture. I could not get high enough and hold the phone still.)
The two sides of the diagram are fun and useful. In the middle are things that are both.
Solidly in the middle? The vibrators. And cockrings.
I believe their placement is self explanatory.
In the middle are also the reuseable coffee cups from Aiming Low. I love reuseable coffee cups that look like the non-reuseable ones. Love them. And Aiming Low. So much love.
The t-shirts are kinda hanging out in the middle. They will be night shirts, but one is about heavy periods (useful) and one is about the evil known as math (fun).
Moving into the useful side things get less fun. Pens and lip balm are close. (After I thought about moving the chap stick because it really kept my daughter entertained like all afternoon.) The Lysol cleaner while great to have, is not fun. As well as Quilted Northern coupons.
And, well, the tote bags are really at the top of the useful circle. I meant, they are always so in abundance at any expo, and they are useful, but not always is such quantity. I have to give the biggest props to Land O’ Lakes for the insulated bag and PetSmart for actual canvas shopping bags that are cute too. (People, you should have seen the scrum for the pile of free dog costumes and toys at the fashion show. Blogger bitches love their bitches.)
Onto the fun. Some food that barely makes the fun side because it is Diet Coke and cookies that must be made of air with all of the things that aren’t in them according to the label.
Then the toys. The kids found ways to thoroughly smack the crap out of each other with the slinky elephants. Basically it was a game of chicken. They each held an end and walked away from each other. Whoever let go first, won the satisfaction of seeing his/her sibling cry.
Dog toys worked their way over to the very end of fun. They use to be hilarious in our house then our dogs got old. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks or get them to do the young dog tricks especially when you subject them to two toddlers everyday.
Then there is a pile of paper in its own little circle, not intersecting. Yeah, ads. I read them. I discarded them. Thanks and sorry. I can’t afford 6PM right now even with the coupons. If only they carried Toms. I want some Toms. (Hint to Toms.)
Anyway, there you go.
So much fun. Diagrammed.