Girly Girl

I am the first to admit I am not a girly girl. I don’t wear make up every day. My hair needs to take under five minutes or something needs to be cut. I avoid skirts whenever possible. However, I do like to look like a girl. I don’t think about my appearance a lot, but I do think about it.

Apparently, I entered a Mary Kay free facial drawing. (Read: A mom in my MOMS Club is a rep and asked us all to fill out the drawing. I won. I’m all for a free facial, and my bank account will not allow her to talk me into any products. So why not?

I didn’t realize there was going to be homework. (Pre-homework?) I got this questionnaire that made me realize how not girly I am. Let’s break it down, shall we?

1.  Which statement best describes your skin type?

    a. dry – small pores and dull finish, little or no oil or shine

    b. normal – smooth skin, balance of oil and moisture, infrequent blemishes

    c. combination – smooth skin, oiliness in T-zone (forehead/nose) and dryness on outer edges of face

    d. oily – large pores and shiny finish

 Am I suppose to have a map of my face with a color key of type of skin? Is the state of her T-zone something that other women know at all times?

2. My skin tone is:  a.) Ivory (fair)  b.) Beige (medium)  c.) Bronze (dark) 

Because nature is cruel I got the Irish white to red skin instead of the exotic olive Greek skin. So I went with ivory.

   For foundation coverage, I prefer: a.) Full  b.) Medium  c.) Sheer

 I hate foundation. It makes me feel like I am wearing mud at all times. I fear cracking my face if I smile. The most I do is some powder and even that I wash off as soon as I get home. Is my T-zone sad?

3. Which statement best describes what you want in your skin care?

  a.) fight signs of aging

  b.) care for my young skin

  c.) Basic products customized for my needs

 I still get carded because I’m a hobbit. My want in skin care is making sure people are looking at my face than the top of my head.

4. I’m interested in products that (mark all that apply):

  a.) even skin tone, reduce dark spots

  b.) minimize the appearance of lines and wrinkles

  c.) provide extra hydration for up to 10 hours

  d.) improve the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles on and around the lip area

  e.) remove eye makeup gently

  f.) help clear and prevent blemishes

  g.) improve the appearance of lines and wrinkles within minutes

  h.) offer a simple solution for my on the go lifestyle

  i.) moisturize, firm, brighten and minimize fine lines and wrinkles around the eye area

  j.) moisturize, firm and minimize the appearance of cellulite

  k.) immediately improve the appearance and texture of my skin

  l.) smooth dry lips

  m.) create a more flawless, rested look

  n.) reduce eye-area puffiness and the appearance of dark circles

 This reminds me of those annoying homework assignment for which you think you have five questions, but each question has ten sub-questions, so instead of taking a half hour it takes an hour and a half while all you want to do is be outside playing Laser Tag. 

5. Hair color? Which ones? The orginal, the dyed or the white?

   Eye color? Yay, an easy one. Brown

   Lips: thin/medium/full I have no idea. Not duck?

   Eyes: deep-set/close-set/wide-set/standard/hooded/asian OK, some I can throw away. Not asian. 

   Face shape: round/square/oval/heart See Hobbit comment above. I can go with round fairly confidently.

Wednesday is the facial. I’ll let you know if I look like a girl at the end.


6 thoughts on “Girly Girl

  1. Geez, my head hurts just trying to figure out where the T-zone is.

    I’m fairly confident, from context clues, that it has little to do with a t-bone or a g-spot

  2. Well I’m 43 and haven’t been carded in a decade (probably) so my answer to number 4. is Yes.

    (Everything’s easier when you’re old.)

    p.s. LOVE the Girlie pick above. Prettiest Hobbit I’ve ever seen…

    • Ha. Thanks. I am such a hobbit. At my bachlorette evening I apparently met some guys on their way to New Zealand, and I was heard to proclaim loudly, “I am a goddamn living hobbit.”

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