In the last month or so, I have read a couple of blog post stories about the blogger’s pre-marriage dating life. It seems that before getting married many people (most?) dated several (many?) individuals before finding (stumbling?) upon the one who stuck.
I had two boyfriends in high school, freshman and sophomore year. The next time I was even kissed was junior year of college. The last two years of college I had a couple of guy pals who made sure I didn’t graduate a virgin. Ahem.
None of them were ever referred to as a boyfriend or any kind of significant other, unless friends with benefits counts.
Wait. Does it?!
Two of these guys made brief appearances in my first two adult-type bedrooms.
Add three blind dates to that, and that was the extent of my “dating” life b.j. (That would be before John, you pervs.)
Where did you people find these people to date? If it was in the bars, then I think my height might have been the problem. No one looks down at bars. And to have a conversation with
my boobs me, a guy basically had to be looking at his own feet. You know that kinda sexy way two people have to flirt in a crowded bar with a loud band? You know, by leaning into each other and talking into each other’s actual ear in a way that can send shivers all up and down you?
Yeah, I need to stand on the barstool to accomplish this. Or the guy gets on his knees, and there are vast complications to that kind of behavior in a man.
So bars were not places of conquest for me. Parties were kind of out for the same reason. Blind dates lead nowhere. There was one single guy in my office. We were friendly enough just not enough. What else….
(OK. Confession. Part of my problem might have been the rather unhealthy relationship I had with my male roommate in which I wanted him badly, and he wanted to live out Will and Grace if Will had been straight. But I would have gone on any dates if they had presented themselves. There were three blind ones, remember? And two went nowhere as the guys’ choice not mine.)
So I always felt like I was missing something. And also, I felt kinda bad about myself, pretty much sure whatever was wrong was with me. (And part of it was. Read the previous paranthetical.)
Then, people? The internet?
And match.com was born. In its infancy Match was not all about finding someone who liked one night stands while on business trips. It was actually about finding people to date and potentially, I don’t know, marry or something. Having had the shits of my own pathetic behavior, I decided it was time to work myself out of this rut. So I signed up.
Then, people? The cybergods smiled on me and showed that they can be benevolent and romantic.
The very first response I got was from John. I kid you not. The. Very. First. One.
So while I am still baffled by the whole dating scene thing, as of April 2001, it no longer mattered or had any effect on my self esteem. Love has a way of making you feel a whole lot better about just about everything.