I am the first to admit I am not a girly girl. I don’t wear make up every day. My hair needs to take under five minutes or something needs to be cut. I avoid skirts whenever possible. However, I do like to look like a girl. I don’t think about my appearance a lot, but I do think about it.
Apparently, I entered a Mary Kay free facial drawing. (Read: A mom in my MOMS Club is a rep and asked us all to fill out the drawing. I won. I’m all for a free facial, and my bank account will not allow her to talk me into any products. So why not?
I didn’t realize there was going to be homework. (Pre-homework?) I got this questionnaire that made me realize how not girly I am. Let’s break it down, shall we?
1. Which statement best describes your skin type?
a. dry – small pores and dull finish, little or no oil or shine
b. normal – smooth skin, balance of oil and moisture, infrequent blemishes
c. combination – smooth skin, oiliness in T-zone (forehead/nose) and dryness on outer edges of face
d. oily – large pores and shiny finish
Am I suppose to have a map of my face with a color key of type of skin? Is the state of her T-zone something that other women know at all times?
2. My skin tone is: a.) Ivory (fair) b.) Beige (medium) c.) Bronze (dark)
Because nature is cruel I got the Irish white to red skin instead of the exotic olive Greek skin. So I went with ivory.
For foundation coverage, I prefer: a.) Full b.) Medium c.) Sheer
I hate foundation. It makes me feel like I am wearing mud at all times. I fear cracking my face if I smile. The most I do is some powder and even that I wash off as soon as I get home. Is my T-zone sad?
3. Which statement best describes what you want in your skin care?
a.) fight signs of aging
b.) care for my young skin
c.) Basic products customized for my needs
I still get carded because I’m a hobbit. My want in skin care is making sure people are looking at my face than the top of my head.
4. I’m interested in products that (mark all that apply):
a.) even skin tone, reduce dark spots
b.) minimize the appearance of lines and wrinkles
c.) provide extra hydration for up to 10 hours
d.) improve the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles on and around the lip area
e.) remove eye makeup gently
f.) help clear and prevent blemishes
g.) improve the appearance of lines and wrinkles within minutes
h.) offer a simple solution for my on the go lifestyle
i.) moisturize, firm, brighten and minimize fine lines and wrinkles around the eye area
j.) moisturize, firm and minimize the appearance of cellulite
k.) immediately improve the appearance and texture of my skin
l.) smooth dry lips
m.) create a more flawless, rested look
n.) reduce eye-area puffiness and the appearance of dark circles
This reminds me of those annoying homework assignment for which you think you have five questions, but each question has ten sub-questions, so instead of taking a half hour it takes an hour and a half while all you want to do is be outside playing Laser Tag.
5. Hair color? Which ones? The orginal, the dyed or the white?
Eye color? Yay, an easy one. Brown
Lips: thin/medium/full I have no idea. Not duck?
Face shape: round/square/oval/heart See Hobbit comment above. I can go with round fairly confidently.
Wednesday is the facial. I’ll let you know if I look like a girl at the end.
In the last month or so, I have read a couple of blog post stories about the blogger’s pre-marriage dating life. It seems that before getting married many people (most?) dated several (many?) individuals before finding (stumbling?) upon the one who stuck.
I had two boyfriends in high school, freshman and sophomore year. The next time I was even kissed was junior year of college. The last two years of college I had a couple of guy pals who made sure I didn’t graduate a virgin. Ahem.
None of them were ever referred to as a boyfriend or any kind of significant other, unless friends with benefits counts.
Wait. Does it?!
Two of these guys made brief appearances in my first two adult-type bedrooms.
Add three blind dates to that, and that was the extent of my “dating” life b.j. (That would be before John, you pervs.)
Where did you people find these people to date? If it was in the bars, then I think my height might have been the problem. No one looks down at bars. And to have a conversation with
my boobs me, a guy basically had to be looking at his own feet. You know that kinda sexy way two people have to flirt in a crowded bar with a loud band? You know, by leaning into each other and talking into each other’s actual ear in a way that can send shivers all up and down you?
Yeah, I need to stand on the barstool to accomplish this. Or the guy gets on his knees, and there are vast complications to that kind of behavior in a man.
So bars were not places of conquest for me. Parties were kind of out for the same reason. Blind dates lead nowhere. There was one single guy in my office. We were friendly enough just not enough. What else….
(OK. Confession. Part of my problem might have been the rather unhealthy relationship I had with my male roommate in which I wanted him badly, and he wanted to live out Will and Grace if Will had been straight. But I would have gone on any dates if they had presented themselves. There were three blind ones, remember? And two went nowhere as the guys’ choice not mine.)
So I always felt like I was missing something. And also, I felt kinda bad about myself, pretty much sure whatever was wrong was with me. (And part of it was. Read the previous paranthetical.)
Then, people? The internet?
And match.com was born. In its infancy Match was not all about finding someone who liked one night stands while on business trips. It was actually about finding people to date and potentially, I don’t know, marry or something. Having had the shits of my own pathetic behavior, I decided it was time to work myself out of this rut. So I signed up.
Then, people? The cybergods smiled on me and showed that they can be benevolent and romantic.
The very first response I got was from John. I kid you not. The. Very. First. One.
So while I am still baffled by the whole dating scene thing, as of April 2001, it no longer mattered or had any effect on my self esteem. Love has a way of making you feel a whole lot better about just about everything.