Besides women like me who just had a baby? Why would someone choose to be this uncomfortable and, well, “dirty” once a month? I guess there could be medical reason, but to me that is the only excuse.
We have evolved passed maxi pads. It just seems like a throwback to time when women had less options in all aspects of their lives. They restrict the activities a woman can participate in. And more than that is still a way to feel ashamed and unclean about the most natural of processes, the process that allows us to have children.
Or maybe I am over analyzing.
All in all, Leila came into the world in a pretty straightforward way. John and I were at the hospital bright and early (5:30 in the AM) on Monday June 14th, and she was here by 7:30 at 7 lbs 11 oz, 19.5 inches, which because the universe likes order, were CJ’s exact measurements at birth. John got to see her being born, and I got a brief kiss before they took her to the nursery while the surgery was finished. John went with her.
I finally got to really hold her around 9 AM. I think the picture speaks for itself.
John kind of likes her too.
And finally, the family was all together.
We’ve been home for a week, and so far, things are going pretty well. I am still healing, but I feel more and more like me every day. And a pre-pregnancy me at that! I almost forgot what it felt like not to have a moving bowling ball beating me up from the inside. She felt so big inside but looks so little on the outside! It’s been a joy getting to know her, but it has definitely been a different experience than adopting CJ. We went through so much before he came, that when he was placed in my arms, I just hit the ground running as Mom with a lot of confidence. And I realize I was expecting the same thing when Leila came, but it hasn’t quite been that way. When you add the physical stress of surgery, hormones, breastfeeding and two infants to the mix, some of my confidence went out the window. I will admit to daily crying for a couple of days, sometimes over a stupid TV show, sometimes over worrying about how much Leila was getting to eat. Being the sole source of nutrition for an infant is a lot of pressure especially when your own body is all whacked out from birth and surgery. So it was touch and go for a while. Thank goodness I have John who is just a rock and did EVERYTHING else while I hobbled around and felt like a giant breast, and of course so many family members and friends. The worst didn’t last very long, and now things are getting into a bit of a routine, the hormones are diminishing and I am getting that confident Mom feeling back and enjoying our miracles.
Because, really, with these three as mine, hormones don’t stand a chance!
The last week and a half have seen an increase in the teething arena. More chewing, more fussing, the usual. Saturday afternoon CJ and I were lying around in bed while John ran some errands (I can’t sit in a chair anymore and hold the kid, so we are in bed a lot.), and the poor kid was just rolling and fussing and NO BOTTLE and NO SLEEP JUST WANT TO FUSS, MOM! Finally he grabbed my finger to chomp on (still not sure why we waste money on teething rings. He will always choose the finger.), and there it was. The needle sharp tip of his left, bottom, front tooth. After the OW! came a YAY! then texting everyone and finally a small nap. We’re still dealing with a lot of the fussiness and way too much of the fighting sleep because I think the right one is not too far behind the left. Still CJ’s worst fussiness is really not that bad.
Saturday night held an adventure too. John’s band, Landslide, had their first gig at The Hanover Grille in Carlisle. Because I have a loving cousin who will babysit anytime, I got to go see them for a while. They rock. I had fun. I picked CJ up a little before midnight. When we got home, we were both pretty tired, but he wasn’t quite ready to go back to sleep, so I made a bottle to help convince him. As I said, we are hanging out in the bed a lot, so that’s where he finally crashed. I was too tired to take him to his crib, so I just piled pillows around the bed and crashed myself. Apparently, John got home around 2 AM, and I was so out that even the dogs barking did not wake me up. John put the baby in the crib, then went downstairs as he still was juiced up from the awesome performance. Something jolted me awake, and there was no baby next to me. I wasn’t expecting John home for another hour. I started throwing blankets and pillows and praying he hadn’t fallen under the bed or something. He was nowhere! Finally my brain clicked on enough to check the nursery, and there he was safe and sound. I was more awake but not awake enough to figure out what had happened. I was trying to decide if I had sleep-parented when John having heard me, came upstairs. It was a very odd moment. Still, better than baby under the bed.
As to the baby who is still a parasite, it looks like unless she decides differently, she will be coming out on the 14th via c-section as she is what they call Frank Breech or butt down. I still have hope of her turning, but she is a Batzer baby in a Baker body. There ain’t much room for her to do anything in there. Those of you on Facebook and Twitter, keep an eye out for any further developments. We will update the blog ASAP, but FB and Twitter will be faster.